The Art of Wedding Diplomacy

By Alana Lenart

Your wedding is your day. It is a celebration of you and your partner coming together and making a lifelong commitment to one another. Naturally you want the day and the details to be a reflection of who you are as a couple. It may mean including non traditional elements that are important to you and excluding traditions that aren’t. Trimming away elements that are nonessential to you will shape the day to be what you want it to be.


Maybe you don’t like cake so you choose not to have it. “But what will you cut?” says your mum. You want to dine amongst your guests so do away with the bridal table. “But it’s tradition! “ says Aunty Shirley. White washes you out and makes you look pale so you choose a coloured dress. “But all brides must wear white” your future mother-in-law informs you. The list is endless…

So what happens if swaying from the traditional norms causes pre-wedding tension with family members or even friends? Regardless of the topic, your approach to handling the situation is the same.


The key is tact and finding the middle ground. There are some things that you will not be willing to budge on. In this case, be respectful and make your intentions clear. If it is going to cause unrest, consider something else you may be willing to allow. Factor in the financial contributions that your parents or parents-in-law may be making. If there are elements that you’re happy to negotiate on then do so to keep the peace. And remember, the most important detail of the day is marrying the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

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